(June 12th 2015)
So another week another rejection from Cartoon Hangover although this time I’m a lot more optimistic. I was complimented on the tone and humor of pitch which, hasn’t happened before and I’ve got until September-ish maybe to try and claim one of the remaining 6 spots.
Feedback is still that my leading man isn’t... Something enough. The explanation I was given was that they couldn’t imagine 8th graders excitedly telling their friends about him. I’m not really sure what the adjective for that would be. Regardless though I think I can see what they’re talking about so moving forward I’m of the opinion that I need to make my lead more well rounded or 3 dimensional without entering the territory of melodrama.
I also need to raise stakes so, again, moving forward I’ve got to amp up the peril. Also I need to make the protagonist and antagonist goals clearer (e.g. Actually give them some other than the desire to smash and the desire to impede another person’s desire to smash). I think there was also mention of 3 act structure which makes sense, thinking back that was actually something they seemed to like about my first or second pitch.
In conclusion How do you make a character better? Also I’m adapting the thing I was originally pitching to them for a submission to Oni Press and I have no god damn idea what to do with it that can fit in a 160-ish page graphic novel.
El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
Made by Sean
... and subsequently butchered by Me.