(October 19th 2012)

Safe House

Blog: Safe House

There's a shop I see sometimes called Northampton Gun Co. In all honesty I didn't believe there was a shop in England that sold fire arms so I decided it would make more sense if it was a GYM that had enough clientèle fixated on the 80's to necessitate referring to well built arms as 'guns'. Although that said, I would almost definitely go to a GYM called The Gun Shop entirely based on the name. I know it's a cliché in nerd culture to discuss your zombie survival plan but, in all honesty, England's aversion to selling fire arms over the counter is going to result in a lot of unnecessary casualties when the brain munchers come a knockin' (screw the casualties that might come about while we're waiting for zombies. We have the children to think about!). I'm always kind of amused that everyone seems to think that they won't be affected by the virus, or that they won't get bitten in an ceremonial fashion, early into the outbreak. No one seems to acknowledge that if a large percentage of the Earth's populations falls to an airborne (and teethborne) virus that statistically you're probably going to be one of the guys getting their head cut off by a gardening sheers wielding Woody Harrelson. In conclusion zombies don't kill people, large juicy brains kill people. Also, pop culture intellectuals with an aversion to exercise are unlikely to last long after they run out of space in hell. If you're reading this and still think that you'll be one of the special few who survives, I'm sure your over confidence will only improve your chances of survival.

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.