(October 5th 2012)
I have a complicated relationship with history, personal or otherwise. My relationship with non-personal history (so Nazis and Dinosaurs and that) is actually not complicated so much as limited. I'm aware of some big events that happened but I'm staggeringly ignorant in regards to specific details. Basically, I know Jurassic Park and Spring Time For Hitler happened and I know which one came first but the proximity of the 2 events to each other is a bit of a blind spot for me.
Personal history is a bit more straight forward; when I'm not entirely happy in the present I start to fondly remember my past experiences and environments. Yes when times are tough I often find myself reminiscing about the Autumn days I spent in College; great company, great loves and a great environment, it surely was the best time of my life... except that it demonstratively wasn't. I had some great friends but my time was generally filled with forced interactions with people I didn't like, whiny teenage heartbreak and an ill fated attempt to grow my hair out. Let it be known that; 1, nostalgia is a form of fiction, and 2, that if you have thick curly hair it doesn't flatten out at any sort of length, it just results in a large afro.
I try not to think about my personal history too much. I know you're supposed to learn from your mistakes but, fuck it, maybe I want the stability of consistently repeated errors. Maybe I want a series of bad decisions that I can settle down and form a life with. I'm not a teenager any more, I can't go around making new mistakes whenever I feel like it. It's pathetic, I need to grow up.
In conclusion time travel is at best an unrealistic pipe dream and at worst an unrealistic means of unravelling reality. Also my method of growing up is to blindly ignore mistakes I've made because it's more pleasant and convenient to just pretend they never happened so, make of that what you will.
Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Made by Sean
... and subsequently butchered by Me.