(March 22nd 2013)

Lost Phone

Blog: Lost Phone

Here, for the first time in recorded history, is a break down of the vicious cycle that is my forgetfulness. My phone goes in my left pocket, my keys go in the right and my wallet goes in my back pocket. If anything disrupts this natural order (like say, me leaving my phone in my jacket pocket after listening to music) the shit goes down. I have a legitimate mini panic attack and pat myself down and, thankfully, I always find what I was looking for. Unfortunately I usually then decide that I need a new means of organising my stuff so this thing that happens rarely (at best) doesn't befall me again. So I try keeping stuff in different pockets and I then proceed to panic even more frequently because stuff is no longer where my muscle memory thinks it is. I start to get used to the new system and I start panicking less and less. Then something happens and, for what ever reason I revert back to my old method of personal possession storage. Maybe it's because I stop thinking about it? Maybe muscle memory is a stubborn bastard? I don't know. In conclusion I bet you never thought you'd ever sit down and read a blog post about where someone keeps their keys. That's something, right?

He fell on his keys to death...